CHAPTER LXIII
"I looked upon myself now as upon the eve of reaping the fruits of all my labour. I waited a few days in expectation of its being put in rehearsal, and wondering at the delay, applied to my worthy patron, who excused Mr. Brayer on account of the multiplicity of business in which he was involved, and bade me beware of teasing the patentee. I treasured up this caution, and exerted my particular three weeks longer; at the end of which his lordship gave me to understand that Mr. Brayer had read my play, and owned it had indubitable merit; but, as he had long been pre-engaged to another author, he could not possibly represent it that season; though, if I would reserve it for the next, and in the interim make such alterations as he had proposed by observations on the margin, I might depend upon his compliance.
"Thunderstruck at this disappointment, I could not, for some minutes, utter one syllable. At length, however, I complained bitterly of the manager's insincerity in amusing me so long, when he knew from the beginning that he could not gratify my desire. But his lordship reprimanded me for my freedom, said Mr. Brayer was a man of honour, and imputed his behaviour with respect to me nothing else but forgetfulness. And indeed I have had some reason, since that time, to be convinced of his bad memory; for, in spite of appearances, I will not allow myself to interpret his conduct in any other way. Lord Rattle observing me very much affected with my disappointment, offered his interest to bring on my play at the other house, which I eagerly accepting, he forthwith wrote a letter of recommendation to Mr. Bellower, actor and prime minister to Mr. Vandal, proprietor of that theatre, and desired me to deliver it with my tragedy, without loss of time. Accordingly, I hastened to his house, where after having waited a whole hour in the lobby, I was admitted to his presence, and my performance received with great state. He told me he was extremely busy at present, but he would peruse it as soon as possible, and bade me to call again in a week. I took my leave, not a little astonished at the pert and supercilious behaviour of this stage player, who had not treated me with good manners; and began to think the dignity of a poet greatly impaired since the days of Euripides and Sophocles; but all this was nothing in comparison of what I have since observed.
"Well, Mr. Random, I went back at the appointed time, and was told that Mr. Bellower was engaged, and could not see me, I repeated my visit a few days after, and having waited a considerable time was favoured with an audience, during which, he said, he had not as yet read my play. Nettled at this usage, I could contain myself no longer, but, telling him, I imagined he would have paid more deference to Lord Rattle's recommendation, demanded my manuscript with some expression of resentment. "Ay," said he in a theatrical tone, "with all my heart." Then pulling out the drawer of the bureau at which he sat, he took out a bundle, and threw it upon a table that was near him, pronouncing the word, "There!" with great disdain. I took it up, and perceiving with some surprise, that it was a comedy, told him it did not belong to me; upon which he offered another which I also disclaimed. A third was produced, and rejected for the same reason. At length he pulled out a whole bundle, and spread them before me, saying, "There are seven--take which you please--or take them all." I singled out my own, and went away, struck dumb with admiration at what I had seen--not so much on account of his insolence, as of the number of new plays which from this circumstance I concluded were yearly offered to the stage. You may be sure, I did not fail to carry my complaint to my patron, who did not receive it with all the indignation I expected; but taxed me with precipitation, and told me I must lay my account with bearing with the humours of the players, if I intended to write for the stage. "There is now no other remedy," he said, "but to keep it till the next season for Mr. Brayer, and alter it at your leisure, in the summer, according to his directions." I was now reduced to a terrible alternative, either to quit all hopes of my tragedy, from which I had all along promised myself a large share of fortune and reputation, or to encounter eight long months of adversity in preparing for and expecting its appearance. This last penance, painful as it was, seemed most eligible to my reflection at that time, and therefore I resolved to undergo it.