CHAPTER LVIII
Tortured with Jealousy, I go Home, and abuse Strap--receive a Message from Narcissa, in Consequence of which I hasten to her Apartment, where her endearing Assurances banish all my Doubts and Apprehensions--in my Retreat discover Somebody in the Dark, whom, suspecting to be a Spy, I resolve to kill, but, to my great Surprise, am convinced of his being no other than Strap--Melinda slanders me--I become acquainted with Lord Quiverwit, who endeavours to sound me with regard to Narcissa--the Squire is introduced to his Lordship, and grows cold towards me--I learn from my Confidante, that this Nobleman professes honourable Love to my Mistress, who continues faithful to me, notwithstanding the scandalous Reports she had heard to my Prejudice--I am mortified with an Assurance that her whole Fortune depends upon the Pleasure of her Brother-Mr. Freeman condoles me on the Decline of my Character, which I vindicate so much to his satisfaction, that he undertakes to combat Fame on my behalf
Having uttered this exclamation, at which she sighed, I went home in the condition of a frantic Bedlamite: and, finding the fire in my apartment almost extinguished, vented my fury upon poor Strap, whose ear I pinched with such violence, that he roared hideously with pain; and, when I quitted my hold, looked so foolishly aghast, that no unconcerned spectator could have seen him without being seized with an immoderate fit of laughter. It is true, I was soon sensible of the injury I had done, and asked pardon for the outrage I had committed; upon which my faithful valet, shaking his head, said, "I forgive you, and may God forgive you!" But he could not help shedding some tears at my unkindness. I felt unspeakable remorse for what I had done, cursed my own ingratitude, and considered his tears as a reproach that my soul, in its present disturbance, could not bear. It set all my passions into a ferment: I swore horrible oaths without meaning or application. I foamed at the mouth, kicked the chairs about the room, and played abundance of mad pranks that frightened my friend almost out of his senses. At length my transport subsided, I became melancholy, and wept insensibly.
During this state of dejection, I was surprised with the appearance of Miss Williams, whom Strap, blubbering all the while, had conducted into the chamber without giving me previous notice of her approach. She was extremely affected with my condition, which she had learned from him, begged me to moderate my passion, suspend my conjectures, and follow her to Narcissa, who desired to see me forthwith. That dear name operated upon me like a charm! I started up, and, without opening my lips, was conducted into her apartment through the garden, which we entered by a private door. I found the adorable creature in tears; I was melted at the sight--we continued silent for some time--my heart was too full to speak--her snowy bosom heaved with fond resentment; at last she sobbing cried, "What have I done to disoblige you?" My heart was pierced with the tender question. I drew near with the utmost reverence of affection. I fell upon my knees before her, and, kissing her hand, exclaimed, "Oh! thou art all goodness and perfection! I am undone by want of merit; I am unworthy to possess thy charms, which heaven bath destined for the arms of some more favourite being." She guessed the cause of my disquiet, upbraided me gently for my suspicion, and gave me such flattering assurances of her eternal fidelity, that all my doubts and fears forsook me, and peace and satisfaction reigned within my breast.