CHAPTER LIII
Having vented this repetition of expletives, the lawyer owned he had not been requited according to his deserts; observed that the labourer is always worthy of his hire, and asked if the promise was made before witnesses, because in that case the law would compel the general to perform it; but understanding that the promise was made over a bottle, without being restricted to time or terms, he pronounced it not valid in law, proceeded to inquire into the particulars of the battle, and affirmed that, although the English had drawn themselves into premunire at first, the French managed their cause so lamely in the course of the dispute, that they would have been utterly nonsuited, had they not obtained a nolli prosequi. In spite of these enlivening touches, the conversation was like to suffer another long interruption, when the lieutenant, unwilling to conceal any of his accomplishments that could be displayed in his present situation, offered to regale the company with a song; and, interpreting our silence into a desire of hearing, began to warble a fashionable air the first stanza of which he pronounced thus:
"Would you task the moon-tide hair, To yon flagrant beau repair. Where waving with the poplin vow, The bantling fine will shelter you," etc.
The sense of the rest he perverted as he went on with such surprising facility that I could not help thinking he had been at some pains to burlesque the performance. Miss Snapper ascribed it to the true cause, namely ignorance; and, when he asked her how she relished his music, answered that, in her opinion, the music and the words were much of a piece. "Oh, d--n my blood!" said he "I take that as a high compliment; for everybody allows the words are d--able fine." "They may be so," replied the lady, "for aught I know, but they are above my comprehension." "I an't obliged to find you comprehension, madam, curse me!" cried he. "No, nor to speak sense neither," said she. "D--n my heart," said he, "I'll speak what I please." Here the lawyer interposed, by telling him, there were some things he must not speak; and upon being defied to give an instance, mentioned treason and defamation. "As for the king," cried the soldier, "God bless him--I eat his bread, and have lost blood in his cause, therefore I have nothing to say to him--but, by G--d, I dare say anything to any other man." "No," said the lawyer, "you dare not call me rogue." "D--me, for what?" said the other. "Because," replied the counsellor, "I should have it good action against you, and recover." "Well, well," cried the officer, "if I dare not call you rogue, I dare think you one, d--me!" This stroke of wit he accompanied with a loud laugh of self-approbation, which unluckily did not affect the audience, but effectually silenced his antagonist, who did not open his mouth for the space of an hour, except to clear his pipe with three hems, which however, produced nothing.