CHAPTER XXIII
'The success of our experiment on the judge encouraged us to practice the same deceit on others; but this harvest lasted not long, my character taking air, and my directress deserting me for some new game. Then I took lodgings near Charing-Cross, at two guineas a week, and began to entertain company in a public manner; but my income being too small to defray my expenses, I was obliged to retrench, and enter into articles with the porters of certain taverns, who undertook to find employment enough for me, provided I would share my profits with them. Accordingly, I was almost every night engaged with company, among whom I was exposed to every mortification, danger, and abuse, that flow from drunkenness and brutality. As my spirit was not sufficiently humbled to the will, nor my temper calculated for the conversation of my gallants, it was impossible for me to overcome an aversion I felt for my profession, which manifested itself in a settled gloom on my countenance, and disgusted those sons of mirth and riot so much, that I was frequently used in a shocking manner, and kicked down stairs with disgrace. The messengers, seeing me disagreeable to their benefactors and employers, seldom troubled me with a call, and I began to find myself almost totally neglected.
'To contribute towards my support I was fain to sell my watch, rings, trinkets, with the best part of my clothes; and I was one evening musing by myself on misery before me when I received a message from a tavern, whither I repaired in a chair, and was introduced to a gentleman dressed like an officer, with whom I supped in a sumptuous manner. In the morning, when I awoke, I found my gallant had got up, and, drawing aside the curtain, could not perceive him in the room. I waited a full hour for his return, and then in the greatest perplexity, rose up and rang the bell. When the waiter came to the door, he found it locked, and desired admittance, which I granted, after observing, with great surprise, that the key remained on the inside, as when we went to bed. I no sooner inquired for the captain, than the fellow, staring with a distracted look, cried, "How, madam, is he not abed?" And when he was satisfied as to that particular, ran into a closet adjoining to the chamber, the window of which he found open. Through this the adventurer had got upon a wall, front whence he dropped down into a court and escaped, leaving me to be answerable not only for the reckoning, but also for a large silver tankard and posset-bowl, which he had carried off with him.
'It is impossible to describe the consternation I was under, when I saw myself detained as a thief's accomplice; for I was looked upon in that light, and carried before a justice, who mistaking my confusion for a sign of guilt committed me, after a short examination, to Bridewell, having admonished me, as the only means to save my life, to turn evidence, and impeach my confederate. I now concluded the vengeance of Heaven had overtaken me, and that I must soon finish my career by an ignominious death. This reflection sank so deep into my soul, that I was for some days deprived of my reason, and actually believed myself in hell, tormented by fiends. Indeed, there needs not a very extravagant imagination to form that idea: for of all the scenes on earth that of Bridewell approaches nearest the notion I had always entertained of the regions. Here I saw nothing but rage, anguish and impiety, and heard nothing but groans, curses, and blasphemy. In the midst of this hellish crew, I was subjected to the tyranny of a barbarian, who imposed upon me tasks that I could not possibly perform, and then punished my incapacity with the utmost rigour and inhumanity. I was often whipped into a swoon, and lashed out of it (during which miserable interval, I was robbed by my fellow-prisoners of everything about me, even to my cap, shoes, and stockings): I was not only destitute of necessaries, but even of food, so that my wretchedness was extreme. Not one of my acquaintance to whom I imparted my situation, would grant me the least succour or regard, on pretence of my being committed for theft, and my landlord refused to part with some of my own clothes which I sent for, because I was indebted to him for a week's lodging.