APLOGUE
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A young painter, indulging a vein of pleasantry, sketched a kind of
conversation piece, representing a bear, an owl, a monkey, and an
ass; and to render it more striking, humorous, and moral, distinguished
every figure by some emblem of human life. Bruin was exhibited in
the garb and attitude of an old, toothless, drunken soldier; the
owl perched upon the handle of a coffee-pot, with spectacle on
nose, seemed to contemplate a newspaper; and the ass, ornamented
with a huge tie-wig (which, however, could not conceal his long
ears), sat for his picture to the monkey, who appeared with the
implements of painting. This whimsical group afforded some mirth,
and met with general approbation, until some mischievous wag hinted
that the whole--was a lampoon upon the friends of the performer; an
insinuation which was no sooner circulated than those very people
who applauded it before began to be alarmed, and even to fancy
themselves signified by the several figures of the piece.
Among others, a worthy personage in years, who had served in the army
with reputation, being incensed at the Supposed outrage, repaired
to the lodging of the painter, and finding him at home, "Hark ye,
Mr. Monkey," said he, "I have a good mind to convince you, that
though the bear has lost his teeth, he retains his paws, and that
he is not so drunk but he can perceive your impertinence." "Sblood!
sir, that toothless jaw is a d--ned scandalous libel--but don't
yon imagine me so chopfallen as not to be able to chew the cud of
resentment." Here he was interrupted by the arrival of a learned
physician, who, advancing to the culprit with fury in his aspect,
exclaimed, "Suppose the augmentation of the ass's ears should prove
the diminution of the baboon's--nay, seek not to prevaricate, for,
by the beard of Aesculapius! there is not one hair in this periwig
that will not stand up in judgment to convict thee of personal
abuse. Do but observe, captain, how this pitiful little fellow has
copied the very curls-the colour, indeed, is different, but then
the form and foretop are quite similar." While he thus remonstrated
in a strain of vociferation, a venerable senator entered, and
waddling up to the delinquent, "Jackanapes!" cried he, "I will now
let thee see I can read something else than a newspaper, and that
without the help of spectacles: here is your own note of hand,
sirrah, for money, which if I had not advanced, you yourself would
have resembled an owl, in not daring to show your face by day, you
ungrateful slanderous knave!"
In vain the astonished painter declared that he had no intention to
give offence, or to characterise particular persons: they affirmed
the resemblance was too palpable to be overlooked; they taxed him
with insolence, malice, and ingratitude; and their clamours being
overheard by the public, the captain was a bear, the doctor an ass,
and the senator an owl, to his dying day.
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Christian reader, I beseech thee, in the bowels of the Lord,
remember this example "while thou art employed in the perusal of
the following sheets; and seek not to appropriate to thyself that
which equally belongs to five hundred different people. If thou
shouldst meet with a character that reflects thee in some ungracious
particular, keep thy own counsel; consider that one feature makes
not a face, and that though thou art, perhaps, distinguished by a
bottle nose, twenty of thy neighbours may be in the same predicament."
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