Letter No. 617. Monday, November 8, 1714.
'Torva Mimalloneis implerunt cornua bombis,
Et raptum vitulo caput ablatura superbo
Bassaris, et lyncem Maenas flexura corymbis,
Evion ingeminat reparabilis adsonat Echo.'
Persius.
There are two Extreams in the Stile of Humour, one of which consists in the Use of that little pert Phraseology which I took Notice of in my last Paper; the other in the Affectation of strained and pompous Expressions, fetched from the learned Languages. The first savours too much of the Town; the other of the College.
As nothing illustrates better than Example, I shall here present my Reader with a Letter of Pedantick Humour, which was written by a young Gentleman of the University to his Friend; on the same Occasion, and from the same Place, as the lively Epistle published in my last Spectator.
Dear Chum,
'It is now the third Watch of the Night, the greatest Part of which I
have spent round a capacious Bowl of China, filled with the choicest
Products of both the Indies. I was placed at a quadrangular Table,
diametrically opposite to the Mace-bearer. The Visage of that
venerable Herald was, according to Custom, most gloriously illuminated
on this joyful occasion. The Mayor and Aldermen, those Pillars of our
Constitution, began to totter; and if any one at the Board could have
so far articulated, as to have demanded intelligibly a Reinforcement
of Liquor, the whole Assembly had been by this time extended under the
Table.
'The Celebration of this Night's Solemnity was opened by the
Obstreperous Joy of Drummers, who, with their Parchment Thunder, gave
a signal for the Appearance of the Mob under their several Classes and
Denominations. They were quickly joined by the melodious Clank of
Marrow-bone and Cleaver, whilst a Chorus of Bells filled up the
Consort. A Pyramid of Stack-Faggots cheared the Hearts of the Populace
with the Promise of a Blaze: The Guns had no sooner uttered the
Prologue, but the Heavens were brightned with artificial Meteors, and
Stars of our own making; and all the High-street lighted up from one
End to another, with a Galaxy of Candles. We collected a Largess for
the Multitude, who tippled Eleemosynary till they grew exceeding
Vociferous. There was a Paste-board Pontiff with a little swarthy
Daemon at his Elbow, who, by his diabolical Whispers and Insinuations
tempted his Holiness into the Fire, and then left him to shift for
himself. The Mobile were very sarcastick with their Clubs, and gave
the old Gentleman several Thumps upon his triple Head-piece. Tom
Tyler's Phiz is something damaged by the Fall of a Rocket, which hath
almost spoiled the Gnomon of his Countenance. The Mirth of the Commons
grew so very outragious, that it found Work for our Friend of the
Quorum, who, by the help of his Amanuensis, took down all their
Names and their Crimes, with a Design to produce his Manuscript at the
next Quarter-Sessions, &c. &c. &c.
'I shall subjoin to the foregoing Piece of a Letter, the following
Copy of Verses translated from an Italian Poet, who was the
Cleveland of his Age, and had Multitudes of Admirers. The Subject is
an Accident that happened under the Reign of Pope Leo, when a
Firework, that had been prepared upon the Castle of St. Angelo,