Letter No. 607. Friday, October 15, 1714.
'Dicite Ioe Paean, et Ioe bis dicite Paean:
Decidit in casses praeda petita meos.'
Ovid.
Mr. SPECTATOR,
'Having in your Paper of Monday last [1] published my Report on the
Case of Mrs. Fanny Fickle, wherein I have taken Notice, that Love
comes after Marriage; I hope your Readers are satisfied of this Truth,
that as Love generally produces Matrimony, so it often happens that
Matrimony produces Love.
'It perhaps requires more Virtues to make a good Husband or Wife, than
what go the finishing any the most shining Character whatsoever.
'Discretion seems absolutely necessary, and accordingly we find that
the best Husbands have been most famous for their Wisdom. Homer, who
hath drawn a perfect Pattern of a prudent Man, to make it the more
compleat, hath celebrated him for the just Returns of Fidelity and
Truth to his Penelope; insomuch that he refused the Caresses of a
Goddess for her sake, and to use the Expression of the best of Pagan
Authors, vetulam suam praetulit Immortalitati, his old Woman was
dearer to him than Immortality.
'Virtue is the next necessary Qualification for this domestick
Character, as it naturally produces Constancy and mutual Esteem. Thus
Brutus and Porcia were more remarkable for Virtue and Affection
than any others of the Age in which they lived.
'Good-Nature is a third necessary Ingredient in the Marriage-State,
without which it would inevitably sower upon a thousand Occasions.
When Greatness of Mind is joined with this amiable Quality, it
attracts the Admiration and Esteem of all who behold it. Thus Caesar,
not more remarkable for his Fortune and Valour than for his Humanity,
stole into the Hearts of the Roman People, when breaking through the
Custom, he pronounced an Oration at the Funeral of his first and best
beloved Wife.
'Good-Nature is insufficient, unless it be steady and uniform, and
accompanied with an Evenness of Temper, which is, above all things, to
be preserved in this Friendship contracted for Life. A Man must be
easie within himself, before he can be so to his other self.
Socrates, and Marcus Aurelius, are Instances of Men, who, by the
Strength of Philosophy, having entirely composed their Minds, and
subdued their Passions, are celebrated for good Husbands,
notwithstanding the first was yoked with Xantippe, and the other
with Faustina. If the wedded Pair would but habituate themselves for
the first Year to bear with one another's Faults, the Difficulty would
be pretty well conquer'd. This mutual Sweetness of Temper and
Complacency, was finely recommended in the Nuptial Ceremonies among
the Heathens, who, when they sacrificed to Juno at that Solemnity,
always tore out the Gaul from the Entrails of the Victim, and cast it
behind the Altar.
'I shall conclude this Letter with a Passage out of Dr. Plot's
Natural History of Staffordshire, not only as it will serve to fill
up your present Paper; but if I find my self in the Humour, may give
Rise to another; I having by me an old Register, belonging to the
Place here under-mentioned.'
Sir Philip de Somervile held the Manors of Whichenovre,
Scirescot, Ridware, Netherton, and Cowlee, all in Com.
Stafford, of the Earls of Lancaster, by this memorable Service.