Letter No. 271. Thursday, January 10, 1712. Addison.



Back  Mille trahens varios adverso sole colores.


Virg.





I receive a double Advantage from the Letters of my Correspondents, first as they shew me which of my Papers are most acceptable to them; and in the next place as they furnish me with Materials for new Speculations. Sometimes indeed I do not make use of the Letter it self, but form the Hints of it into Plans of my own Invention; sometimes I take the Liberty to change the Language or Thought into my own Way of Speaking and Thinking, and always (if it can be done without Prejudice to the Sense) omit the many Compliments and Applauses which are usually bestowed upon me.

Besides the two Advantages above-mentioned which I receive from the Letters that are sent me, they give me an Opportunity of lengthning out my Paper by the skilful Management of the subscribing Part at the End of them, which perhaps does not a little conduce to the Ease, both of my self and Reader.

Some will have it, that I often write to my self, and am the only punctual Correspondent I have. This Objection would indeed be material, were the Letters I communicate to the Publick stuffed with my own Commendations: and if, instead of endeavouring to divert or instruct my Readers, I admired in them the Beauty of my own Performances. But I shall leave these wise Conjecturers to their own Imaginations, and produce the three following Letters for the Entertainment of the Day.




SIR,


I was last Thursday in an Assembly of Ladies, where there were
Thirteen different coloured Hoods. Your Spectator of that Day lying
upon the Table, they ordered me to read it to them, which I did with a
very clear Voice, till I came to the Greek Verse at the End of it.
I must confess I was a little startled at its popping upon me so
unexpectedly. However, I covered my Confusion as well as I could, and
after having mutter'd two or three hard Words to my self, laugh'd
heartily, and cried, A very good Jest, Faith. The Ladies desired me
to explain it to them; but I begged their pardon for that, and told
them, that if it had been proper for them to hear, they may be sure
the Author would not have wrapp'd it up in Greek. I then let drop
several Expressions, as if there was something in it that was not fit
to be spoken before a Company of Ladies. Upon which the Matron of the
Assembly, who was dressed in a Cherry-coloured Hood, commended the
Discretion of the Writer for having thrown his filthy Thoughts into
Greek, which was likely to corrupt but few of his Readers. At the
same time she declared herself very well pleased, that he had not
given a decisive Opinion upon the new-fashioned Hoods; for to tell you
truly, says she, I was afraid he would have made us ashamed to shew
our Heads. Now, Sir, you must know, since this unlucky Accident
happened to me in a Company of Ladies, among whom I passed for a most
ingenious Man, I have consulted one who is well versed in the Greek
Language, and he assures me upon his Word, that your late Quotation
means no more, than that Manners and not Dress are the Ornaments of a
Woman. If this comes to the Knowledge of my Female Admirers, I shall
be very hard put to it to bring my self off handsomely. In the mean
while I give you this Account, that you may take care hereafter not to
betray any of your Well-wishers into the like Inconveniencies. It is
in the Number of these that I beg leave to subscribe my self,


Tom Trippit.




Mr. SPECTATOR,


Your Readers are so well pleased with your Character of Sir ROGER DE
COVERLEY, that there appeared a sensible Joy in every Coffee-house,
upon hearing the old Knight was come to Town. I am now with a Knot of
his Admirers, who make it their joint Request to you, that you would
give us publick Notice of the Window or Balcony where the Knight
intends to make his Appearance. He has already given great
Satisfaction to several who have seen him at Squires Coffee-house.
If you think fit to place your short Face at Sir ROGERS Left Elbow,
we shall take the Hint, and gratefully acknowledge so great a Favour.


I am, Sir,
Your most Devoted
Humble Servant,
C. D.




SIR,


Knowing that you are very Inquisitive after every thing that is
Curious in Nature, I will wait on you if you please in the Dusk of the
Evening, with my Show upon my Back, which I carry about with me in a
Box, as only consisting of a Man, a Woman, and an Horse. The two first
are married, in which State the little Cavalier has so well acquitted
himself, that his Lady is with Child. The big-bellied Woman, and her
Husband, with their whimsical Palfry, are so very light, that when
they are put together into a Scale, an ordinary Man may weigh down the
whole Family. The little Man is a Bully in his Nature; but when he
grows cholerick I confine him to his Box till his Wrath is over, by
which Means I have hitherto prevented him from doing Mischief. His
Horse is likewise very vicious, for which Reason I am forced to tie
him close to his Manger with a Pack-thread. The Woman is a Coquet. She
struts as much as it is possible for a Lady of two Foot high, and
would ruin me in Silks, were not the Quantity that goes to a large
Pin-Cushion sufficient to make her a Gown and Petticoat. She told me
the other Day, that she heard the Ladies wore coloured Hoods, and
ordered me to get her one of the finest Blue. I am forced to comply
with her Demands while she is in her present Condition, being very
willing to have more of the same Breed. I do not know what she may
produce me, but provided it be a Show I shall be very well
satisfied. Such Novelties should not, I think, be concealed from the
British Spectator; for which Reason I hope you will excuse this
Presumption in


Your most Dutiful,
most Obedient,
and most Humble Servant,
S. T.



L.










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