Letter No. 251. Tuesday, December 18, 1711. Addison.
--Lingua centum sunt, oraque centum.
Ferrea Vox.
Virg.
There is nothing which more astonishes a Foreigner, and frights a Country Squire, than the Cries of London. My good Friend Sir ROGER often declares, that he cannot get them out of his Head or go to Sleep for them, the first Week that he is in Town. On the contrary, WILL. HONEYCOMB calls them the Ramage de la Ville, and prefers them to the Sounds of Larks and Nightingales, with all the Musick of the Fields and Woods. I have lately received a Letter from some very odd Fellow upon this Subject, which I shall leave with my Reader, without saying any thing further of it.
SIR,
I am a Man of all Business, and would willingly turn my Head to any
thing for an honest Livelihood. I have invented several Projects for
raising many Millions of Money without burthening the Subject, but I
cannot get the Parliament to listen to me, who look upon me, forsooth,
as a Crack, and a Projector; so that despairing to enrich either my
self or my Country by this Publick-spiritedness, I would make some
Proposals to you relating to a Design which I have very much at Heart,
and which may procure me [a [1]] handsome Subsistence, if you will be
pleased to recommend it to the Cities of London and Westminster.
The Post I would aim at, is to be Comptroller-General of the London
Cries, which are at present under no manner of Rules or Discipline. I
think I am pretty well qualified for this Place, as being a Man of
very strong Lungs, of great Insight into all the Branches of our
British Trades and Manufactures, and of a competent Skill in Musick.
The Cries of London may be divided into Vocal and Instrumental. As
for the latter they are at present under a very great Disorder. A
Freeman of London has the Privilege of disturbing a whole Street for
an Hour together, with the Twanking of a Brass-Kettle or a Frying-Pan.
The Watchman's Thump at Midnight startles us in our Beds, as much as
the Breaking in of a Thief. The Sowgelder's Horn has indeed something
musical in it, but this is seldom heard within the Liberties. I would
therefore propose, that no Instrument of this Nature should be made
use of, which I have not tuned and licensed, after having carefully
examined in what manner it may affect the Ears of her Majesty's liege
Subjects.
Vocal Cries are of a much larger Extent, and indeed so full of
Incongruities and Barbarisms, that we appear a distracted City to
Foreigners, who do not comprehend the Meaning of such enormous
Outcries. Milk is generally sold in a note above Ela, and in Sounds
so [exceeding [2]] shrill, that it often sets our Teeth [on [3]] Edge.
The Chimney-sweeper is [confined [4]] to no certain Pitch; he
sometimes utters himself in the deepest Base, and sometimes in the
sharpest Treble; sometimes in the highest, and sometimes in the lowest
Note of the Gamut. The same Observation might be made on the Retailers
of Small-coal, not to mention broken Glasses or Brick-dust. In these
therefore, and the like Cases, it should be my Care to sweeten and
mellow the Voices of these itinerant Tradesmen, before they make their
Appearance in our Streets; as also to accommodate their Cries to their
respective Wares; and to take care in particular, that those may not