Letter No. 78. Wednesday, May 30, 1711. Steele.
Cum Talis sis, Utinam noster esses!
The following Letters are so pleasant, that I doubt not but the Reader will be as much diverted with them as I was. I have nothing to do in this Day's Entertainment, but taking the Sentence from the End of the Cambridge Letter, and placing it at the Front of my Paper; to shew the Author I wish him my Companion with as much Earnestness as he invites me to be his.
SIR,
'I Send you the inclosed, to be inserted (if you think them worthy of
it) in your SPECTATORS; in which so surprizing a Genius appears, that
it is no Wonder if all Mankind endeavours to get somewhat into a Paper
which will always live.
As to the Cambridge Affair, the Humour was really carried on in the
Way I described it. However, you have a full Commission to put out or
in, and to do whatever you think fit with it. I have already had the
Satisfaction of seeing you take that Liberty with some things I have
before sent you. [1]
'Go on, Sir, and prosper. You have the best Wishes of
SIR, Your very Affectionate,
and Obliged Humble Servant.'
Cambridge.
Mr, SPECTATOR,
'You well know it is of great Consequence to clear Titles, and it is
of Importance that it be done in the proper Season; On which Account
this is to assure you, that the CLUB OF UGLY FACES was instituted
originally at CAMBRIDGE in the merry Reign of King Charles II. As
in great Bodies of Men it is not difficult to find Members enough for
such a Club, so (I remember) it was then feared, upon their Intention
of dining together, that the Hall belonging to CLAREHALL, (the
ugliest then in the Town, tho' now the neatest) would not be large
enough HANDSOMELY to hold the Company. Invitations were made to great
Numbers, but very few accepted them without much Difficulty. ONE
pleaded that being at London in a Bookseller's Shop, a Lady going by
with a great Belly longed to kiss him. HE had certainly been excused,
but that Evidence appeared, That indeed one in London did pretend
she longed to kiss him, but that it was only a Pickpocket, who
during his kissing her stole away all his Money. ANOTHER would have
got off by a Dimple in his Chin; but it was proved upon him, that he
had, by coming into a Room, made a Woman miscarry, and frightened two
Children into Fits. A THIRD alledged, That he was taken by a Lady for
another Gentleman, who was one of the handsomest in the University;
But upon Enquiry it was found that the Lady had actually lost one Eye,
and the other was very much upon the Decline. A FOURTH produced
Letters out of the Country in his Vindication, in which a Gentleman
offered him his Daughter, who had lately fallen in Love with him, with
a good Fortune: But it was made appear that the young Lady was
amorous, and had like to have run away with her Father's Coachman, so
that it was supposed, that her Pretence of falling in Love with him
was only in order to be well married. It was pleasant to hear the
several Excuses which were made, insomuch that some made as much
Interest to be excused as they would from serving Sheriff; however at
last the Society was formed, and proper Officers were appointed; and
the Day was fix'd for the Entertainment, which was in Venison