LETTER XIV.
"Pick your pockets, Sir! I wish nobody wanted to pick your pockets no more than I do; and I'll promise you you'd be safe enough. But there's no nation under the sun can beat the English for ill-politeness: for my part, I hate the very sight of them; and so I shall only just visit a person of quality or two of my particular acquaintance, and then I shall go back again to France."
"Ay, do," cried he; "and then go to the devil together, for that's the fittest voyage for the French and the quality."
"We'll take care, however," cried the stranger with great vehemence, "not to admit none of your vulgar unmannered English among us."
"O never fear," returned he, coolly, "we shan't dispute the point with you; you and the quality may have the devil all to yourselves."
Desirous of changing the subject of a conversation which now became very alarming, Miss Mirvan called out, "Lord, how slow the man drives!"
"Never mind, Moll," said her father, "I'll warrant you he'll drive fast enough to-morrow, when you are going to Howard Grove."
"To Howard Grove!" exclaimed the stranger, "why, mon Dieu, do you know Lady Howard?"
"Why, what if we do?" answered he; "that's nothing to you; she's none of your quality, I'll promise you."
"Who told you that?" cried she; "you don't know nothing about the matter! besides, you're the ill-bredest person ever I see: and as to your knowing Lady Howard, I don't believe no such a thing; unless, indeed, you are her steward."
The Captain, swearing terribly, said, with great fury, "You would much sooner be taken for her wash-woman."
"Her wash-woman, indeed?-Ha, ha, ha, why you han't no eyes; did you ever see a wash-woman in such a gown as this?-Besides, I'm no such mean person, for I'm as good as Lady Howard, and as rich too; and besides, I'm now come to England to visit her."
"You may spare yourself that there trouble," said the Captain, "she has paupers enough about her already."
"Paupers, Mister!-no more a pauper than yourself, nor so much neither;-but you are a low, dirty fellow, and I shan't stoop to take no more notice of you."
"Dirty fellow!" exclaimed the Captain, seizing both her wrists, "hark you, Mrs. Frog, you'd best hold your tongue; for I must make bold to tell you, if you don't, that I shall make no ceremony of tripping you out of the window, and there you may lie in the mud till some of your Monseers come to help you out of it."
Their increasing passion quite terrified us; and Mrs. Mirvan was beginning to remonstrate with the Captain, when we were all silenced by what follows.
"Let me go, villain that you are, let me go, or I'll promise you I'll get you put to prison for this usage. I'm no common person, I assure you; and, ma foi, I'll go to Justice Fielding about you; for I'm a person of fashion, and I'll make you know it, or my name a'n't Duval."
I heard no more: amazed, frightened, and unspeakably shocked, an involuntary exclamation of Gracious Heaven! escaped me, and, more dead than alive, I sunk into Mrs. Mirvan's arms. But let me draw a veil over a scene too cruel for a heart so compassionately tender as your's; it is sufficient that you know this supposed foreigner proved to be Madame Duval,-the grandmother of your Evelina!
O, Sir, to discover so near a relation in a woman, who had thus introduced herself!-what would become of me, were it not for you, my protector, my friend, and my refuge?